


Restart Death

by MLPMI6



Series: Death and Houses [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual Harry Potter, Depression, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Established Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Evil Albus Dumbledore, Gender fluid Remus Lupin, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Near Death Experiences, POV Multiple, Polyamory, Self-Harm, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Content, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin Raise Harry Potter, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, Sweet Draco Malfoy, Time Travel, To Be Edited, Trans Hermione Granger, Writer's Block
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:18:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22010155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MLPMI6/pseuds/MLPMI6
Summary: After dying Harry finds himself back in his ten-year-old selves body, with no idea how. But that doesn't matter, not really.  What matters is fixing the future, making things better for as many people as possible. He knows things now, things that he didn't know before. Now he had to use this information to his advantage.(I plan of completely redoing this and fixing it.)
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom/Ron Weasley, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Death and Houses [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1584322
Comments: 8
Kudos: 49





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know Hermione being trans isn't stated -at least not yet, and not blatantly- she just struck me as MtF and I don't know why. She's a proud woman, I just feel like there is more to it. I also didn't want to after say, oh by the way she is trans or anything of the matter- unless it's a background character that people want more information on. I hope you enjoy none the less or have any suggestions on just hinting at it. I can be a little heavy-handed sometimes. Thank you.

"Harry. I'm sorry, I am so sorry. You couldn't have known, things like this don't happen." Hermione was crying.

It hurt seeing her like that, but there was nothing I could do. I was dying, taking two killing curses was not good for anyone's body. I may have survived them but my ageing had been accelerated at an unreasonable rate. It had only been three years, Voldemort has vanquished only three years ago for everyone else. For me, it was hundreds and with the Philosopher's stone being I had no chance.

“I know Hermione. It’s not your fault. It’s no one's fault but Voldemort’s. There was nothing you could do. You tried Hermione.”I whispered, voice weak. "I just wish I did more."

Taking a slightly shaky breath I alowed myself to slowly fall asleep, never expecting to wake up again.

* * *

“Get up boy! It’s Dudley’s birthday and I want it to be perfect!” The banging startled me, but not nearly as much as my aunt's voice.

"I said bet up!" She called banging once more. My head was pounding as I slowly took note of my surroundings. I was back under the stairs, and from the feel of things I was ten somehow. 

'Actually that makes the most sense in this scenario.' I thought, quickly starting to get dressed.

"Aunt Petunia, after chores might I head to the park? I know you probably have something planned for Dudley's birthday and I wouldn't want to impede." I said, stepping out from under the stairs. "I'll only pack a small lunch and a journal I want to start."

Aunt Petunia was silent for a moment before heading into the kitchen to talk to Unkle Vernon. I couldn't hear exactly what they were saying, but it seemed there was a chance that I would be able to as I entered the kitchen.

"Fine! But if you talk to anyone, or those chores aren't done. You will not eat until Christmas." Vernon hissed, glaring darkly. "Do I make myself clear?"

"Of course Unkle Vernon," I responded starting to cook for his family. After everything, I headed to get ready and made my lunch as they headed out. 

* * *

Chores took about an hour, but it didn't matter. Heading out I made my way to the park. No one was there, but one person. One person, I knew quite well, but they didn't know me that well yet. Remus Lupin, quietly rocking on the swing.

"Hey. Remus?" Harry asked, gently biting his lip. "Hey."

Remus looked up, eyes widening slightly as I made my way forward, pulling him into a tight hug. He was terribly underweight, and I could feel bandages under his shirt. Not only that but the way he hugged me back as his life determined it. He was hurting so much, and that made sense. He lost his pack, his mate. I was the only one who was left.

"What are you doing here? I whispered, smiling as he gently cupped my cheek.

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright." He responded, smiling with a gentle chuckle. "I miss you."

Nodding I gently kissed his cheek, nuzzling him gently. He softly chuckled, and for a moment there was a tone of joy to it. After a moment I pulled back taking a deep breath as we found a comfortable place to sit to talk.

"I need to tell you something."

"Yeah?"

"Promis me you will believe me, no matter what," I said, locking eyes with him. 

Remus nodded, eyes furrowing as I explained everything that I had lived through. The way that so many people had conspired against me, about how I was used as a pawn. The way that I was supposed to be a hero, but was never given all the information I needed. I told him about the abuse and the crap that Dumbledore ignored. As I finished, Remus looked skeptical.

"You promised." I glared. I don't know why I felt so angry, but I could feel it in my glare. From the way he recoiled, I went too far. Forcing myself to take a deep breath, and to calm down. Nuzzling against him I could feel him struggling to breathe, he was crying. Holding him close I kissed his cheek once again and nuzzled his cheek as he slowly started calming down.

"I'm sorry. But why would Moonma let that happen?"

"I don't think she realized how bad it was. I don't think a lot of people realized it was as bad as it was."

"That doesn't excuse what happened." He hissed, a shocking amount of anger entering his voice. 

"I don't blame her, and we cant change that version of the future. We can change this one." I responded, petting his cheek gently. "We already are."

Remus was silent before nodding, refusing to let me go. The silence lasted a while before he let out an excited gasp. "Padfoot!"

Chuckling slightly I nodded, quickly and easily picking up on what he was thinking. He was going to get his mate back, and nothing was going to stop him. 

"Remus?"

"Yeah Harry?"

"I was just wondering. Is Sirius my dad?" I asked, biting my lip. "I know you all were close, but I mean. From what I've learned Lily was the kind of person who would be willing to let you two have a kid."

"Yeah." He responded, nodding. With a soft chuckle, he kissed my forehead. "I'm happy that you understand at least. "

"Adopt me. Let's get Sirius a trial and you two can adopt me."

"I want to, I really do it's just going to be hard."

* * *

"Boy!"

I jumped, head jolting to the source of the voice. I hadn't realized how long Remus and I had been catching up, until now. Unkle Vernon was rushing up to me, surprisingly nimble for his size. His face was red with anger, edging on purple as he grabbed me by the kneck. I couldn't breathe, his large hand engulphing my entire kneck and I soon found myself struggling to get free as my head started to fuzz.

"How dare you lie to me!" Vernon continued, tossing me to the ground, a sickening snap sending pain up my arm. Hissing painfully I rolled away, dipping behind Remus and carefully checking my wrist. It was broken, badly.

"What was that for!" Remus growled, baring his teeth with a dark glare. His teeth were sharp, and for a moment I could help but wonder if Moony was in control, not Remus.

"Stay out of it Lupin."

"No. Harry is part of my pack. I'm not going to let you hurt him ever again!"

"You? You were always the weakest of you little posy, do you think I am scared of..." Vernon didn't have a chance to respond before Remus punched hard, a snap filling the mostly silent park. Glancing over I quickly saw blood gushing from Vernon's nose. it was broken, badly. Silently Remus bound the man -as well as my wrist- before quickly apperating us to the Ministry of magic. 

As we headed forward, we were stopped by an approaching Dumbledore. Remus barred his teeth once more, but alowed dumbledore to take Vernon as he tilted his head.

"So I suppose Moony is in control at the moment?"

Remus -or Moony I supposed- simply snarled, holding me defensively close as we headed towards the courtroom.

"This outburst won't be overlooked."

"I hope what he did won't either." 

"Enough. Look, we have a lot to do today alright." I hissed, glancing between the two men. "Please."

Both fell silent, and we entered the courtroom slightly peacefully.

* * *

Vernon's trail was a long and painful one. Since Dumbledore had so much push, he practically ran the trial. Thankfully Vernon was brought to be tried by the muggle court, something that didn't happen often but typically had good outcomes. This didn't even take a lot, and it seemed like I wouldn't even have to show up in court, wouldn't have to testify for him to be arrested. Aunt Petunia even said she would help me out, as I reminded her of Lily.

But I was thankful that it was over as I sat, watching Sirius on the stand. He looked so tired, sickly. But that really made sense, he had been in Azkaban for so long that I knew he was going to have a hard time healing. 

"Do you agree to testify under the influence of Veritaserum?" The minister asked as a guard brought him avail, as well as a glass of water.

"Yes," Sirius responded, drinking it quickly. He also shot the man a gentle smile, sipping the water and taking a deep breath.

"Good. Now, let's start with your name."

"Sirius Oryan Black."

"How old are you?"

"Thirty."

"What was your relationship with James and lily Poter."

"We were good friends. A pack, with Remus Lupin. Lily was also a willing surrogate for me and Remus."

"That would make young Harry your son?" The minister sounded shocked, quickly glancing over at me. 

"Yes."

"Who was the secret keeper for the Potters?"

"Peter 'Wormtail' Pettigrew."

"Now what happened in the alleyway?" 

"I went to confront Peter, but my anger blinded me slightly. He cut off his finger, destroyed the street and turned into a rat." Sirius said, drinking a little bit more of the water. "

* * *

"Hey, kiddo," Sirius whispered, voice a bit weak. "It's good to see you."

"It is," I responded, pulling him into a deep hug. "I have a bit of a long story to tell you when we get home."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's not really a good one though." 

"I'm sorry kiddo,"

"I don't blame you," I responded, smiling as Remus joined the hug. "I will never blame you."

Remus and Sirius were silent before Remus apparated once again, bringing the three of us home.


	2. Chapter 2

Laying back on my bed I silently jotted a few notes in my Potions book. I had been running experiments based on what I remembered from Snape's old book and had already found several improvements. Finishing the notes for a basic strength restoring potion I put the book away, turning my attention to my journal. Things were different, that much was expected. But I felt different too. I felt like someone I didn't even know, but that didn't bother me. I actually felt proud. That didn't prevent the offset of the abuse I suffered for all those years, the flinching and the cowering. But I felt more confident at the same time.

Remus and I had also gotten a good amount of work done in Grimwald Place. We delt with the pixy's and the more dangerous creatures, Creature had been dismissed, and I had even found a way to get rid of the screaming portrait, the muggle way. A knife and an open fire.

Sirius was healing nicely too. He was still somewhat weak and exhausted. But between Madam Pomfrey and Remus, he was making a fast recovery. He had regained a playful, trickster like personality and him and Remus seemed to be working out the damage that had been done to the pack. There were clear signs of trauma in them both, and Sirius was admittedly childish, but they were at least happy.

I had taken to studying, a lot. I had managed to master several spells- as well as one could without a true professional guide- and had become really good with potions. I found myself reading into the history of magic, about the wars and about the extream classism that still persisted within the wizarding community. It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, with basic human rights being denied to most werewolves and a lot of Muggleborns being scorned, sometimes having their powers taken away as kids due to them going into protective custody. It wasn't common, but it happened and I hated it.

Minny had also been brought into the circle of people who knew my secret. At first, she had been doubtful, but she quickly came to believe us as the start of school drew closer. She was the reason I was being taught Occlumency and Martial Arts, so I could defend myself from any kind of an attack. She was also giving me private lessons herself, helping me get a head start on my lessons. I was going to be sneaking around a lot, getting into trouble. Lessons were not my biggest concern.

Thankfully Peter was locked away in Azkaban, which meant that I wasn't being coddled too much. But Sirius was still cautious, knowing how he himself had escaped at one point.

* * *

Following Sirius into the train station I smiled a Molly made her way up to us, Ron at her side. The rest of the family was nowhere to be seen. They were probably already on the train, or- in Ginny's case- at home.

"Hello Remus dear, Sirus." She said, smiling as she saw me. "And Harry. Oh, it's good to meet you. This is my son Ron."

"Hey/" I whispered, a sudden wave of nerves overwhelming my senses. Ron had an air of confidence to him, a pride I hadn't noticed before. 

"Ron and this is Simon." Ron pointed to the small brown barn owl.

“Hello Ron, I’m Harry.” Harry held out his hand. Ron took it with a smile. "Hwy what house do you think you will be in?"

"Our little genius may be a Ravenclaw, but if he takes after any of his parents Gryffindor," Remus said with a smile. "Now, run along you two."

* * *

Laying across the seats, I smiled. ‘Not long before we see Neville and Hermione.’

As the thought ran through my mind the door slid open, revealing Neville in the door. "Sorry to bother you, but I lost my toad. Have either of you seen him?"

"Nevil right?"

"Yeah."

"Nice to meet you. This is Ron and I'm Harry."

"Your famous, everyone knows you." Harry smiled as Hermione leaned against the doorframe behind Nevil, holding what seemed to be a croaking shoebox. "I found Trever."

"Don't just stand there, come and sit," I said sitting so that Hermione could sit, Nevil, collapsing next to Ron.

"How's life? I mean, is Sirius alright?" Hermione asked after a moment of silence. "It must have been hard on him, the hole wrongly jailed thing."

"He's healing."

"That's good."

* * *

Heading into the great hall I smiled as I waited for my name to be called. It wasn't too long this time, as I was now a Black and not a Potter, but there were still a fair amount of students before me.

Heading to the stool I sat, wondering what the hat would have to say this time.

'You've done this before. Interesting.'

'And I've changed. I'm not a Slytherin, I can feel it.' I responded silently, taking a deep breath. 'I don't want to be one.'

'You are a strange one indeed. I can sense a Slytherin level of ambition, a Ravenclaw's intelligence, a Hufflepuffs loyalty, and the bravery of a Gryffindor. So what house do you truly belong in?' The Hat pondered, falling silent for a moment, 'You wouldn't blossom in Hufflepuff, they have nothing to offer you and you would not be able to be surrounded by Slytherin. But the other two.'

I couldn't tell how long I had been sitting, but I was getting a bit uncomfortable. I could also feel everyone's eyes on me. I had stalled the hat, not a too uncommon feat but it must have been longer than normal because people seemed shocked.

"Griffinodre!" It felt like it had been a long time, and it was a moment before my new house erupted in cheers. Joining the house, I silently waited for my friends to join me. First Hermione, then Nevil and lastly Ron.

* * *

"What do you think is on the third floor?" Ron asked as I silently collapsed in bed.

I ignored him as I examined the wooden bar above my head. Engraved in it was the simple statement 'Moony and Padfoot, mates for life'. It was heartwarming I had one of my father's beds. 

"Harry," Ron whined, pouting as he climbed on top of me, kneeling on my bed and leaning on his hands.

"Why would I know?" I asked, pushing him off with my feet, seeming him tumbling to the floor. He landed a little harder than I expected, an oof indicating he had been slightly winded, but I didn't really care. He was in my space, something my cousin had done all too often.

"You stalled the hat. That has to mean something." He said as he regained his breath. "Come on, at least give me a guess."

"I don't want to play this game, Ron." I sighed as he scrambled back onto the edge of my bed. "Sod off."

Ron pouted a bit but hurried to his bed as I curled under the covers and fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Sitting at dinner I focused on my journal. Classes had been somewhat different and yet there were things that remained the same. It interesting and I had to make sure I had everything written down. 

First was charms. I had tied with Hermione for first to get the spell right, and I had helped Nevil to be the third person. Ron had struggled quite a bit but had completely ignored Hermione's tips. Then we had transfiguration, which I still got lost heading to. Mcgonicall seemed to understand, however, but was still a little hard on me and Ron for being late. I was the first to transform my match, however, which impressed Moonma a bit. Once again Ron had struggled and after herbology -where Nevil was able to help me and Hermione- he was done.

"I don't understand how you two are so close to that smart ass!" He hissed, gently pushing me as I took a bite of my apple. "She acts like she is smarter than us."

"Don't be a dick, Ron." I sighed.

"But..."

"Let me eat in peace." I sighed, shaking my head. "It's been a long day and we have potion early tomorrow."

Ron was silent as I finished my food and left the great hall. I knew people were staring at me -dissert hadn't even been served yet- but I didn't care. I didn't want to deal with Ron's shit and I needed my space. Reaching the dorm I collapsed in bed, running my hand over the message. One day I would put the names of myself and my life mare alongside theirs. But now was not the time to think about that. I had work to do, not only homework but meditation as well. Hermione had suggested I took it up after I had a bit of a panic attack during lunch, which caused me to break Draco's nose.

* * *

The next morning, I lead Nevil down to the dungeons for potions. We had gotten up early to meditate in the courtyard -a house-elf bringing us a small breakfast- and were running early. But it was safer to be early than late, with me not knowing what this timeline's Snape would be like. I doubted he was friendly, but just how horrible he was still up in the air.

"Both of you are late!" Snape hissed as we entered the class.

"What?" I whispered, eyes widening slightly as I carefully ushered Nevil behind me.

"You are both late! For that, I am taking ten points each from Griffindore and you will both serve detention!" He sneered, eyes narrowing. Glancing down at his watch he huffed. They were still four minutes early.

"I'm sorry sir. Can you tell me exactly when the class starts?"

"Ten."

"Now can you tell me what time it is? Because my watch sais its only nine fifty-six." At this point, there was a small crowd gathering to see what was going on. I knew neither of us was going to stand down, and that this wasn't going to end well for either of us. So I carefully brought Nevil to a desk and turned my attention back to Snape.

"So you really are going to make yourself into a true little residential celebrity? Tell me what happens when you add the powdered root of Asphodel to an infusion of Wormwood."

"A sleeping potion called the Draught of Sleeping Death."

“Where would you look if I told you to find a bezoar?”

“The stomach of a goat.”

“What is the difference between Monkshood and Wolfsbane?” Snape sounded pissed at this point and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, my anxiety peaking. Part of me was certain I was going to collapse into an attack, and I had to force myself to take deep breaths to prevent myself from crying. He had never physically hurt me before, but now I didn't know, and that was terrifying. 

"None, they also go by the name Aconite and can be used to make Wolfsbane potion," I said, voice shaking slightly. "Sir, may I leave. I know I didn't earn any of that, and I can't breathe. I plan on visiting Professor Mcgonigall after class, but will now be visiting Madam Pomfrey." 

"Go ahead and skip class Potter, but do not expect it to reflect well on your grade."He hissed, dragging me into the hall and slamming the door. "Cry to your Head of House, cowardly like your pathetic excuse for a father."

"What?"

"Sirius always hid behind his pranks, but a little pressure and he would break." He sneered, shoving me hard. I didn't have time to react as I fell back, landing on my wrist with a snap. I couldn't move. Tears burned in my eyes, breath hardly coming in more than shallow, quick gasps. Pushing myself to my feet a solid minute later, I ran. I ran and I didn't stop until I found myself collapsed in the further corner of the Transfiguration classroom. My wrist was on fire, but it hardly registered over the terror. I could have died! if I hit my head I could have died, just because I stood up for myself. He was going to kill me!"

"Mr. Black?" The voice was distant, fuzzy. I was hearing things, I had to be. Nothing could have been that distant in a room like this.

"Mr. Black?" The voice held urgency, concern. "Harry, talk to me."

After that, there was silence before someone pulled me into a tight hug. Burrowing my face into there shoulder I just cried, warmth and a light lavender scent slowly relaxing me. As I calmed down I could feel them fussing with my wrist, and accepted a potion that numbed the pain a good amount.

"What happened?" 

Whipping my eyes I pulled back, gasping as I locked eyes with Moonma. I knew I was in her classroom, I had kind of registered her as I passed. But seeing her so concerned, shocked me.

"Snape and I got into a verbal, then he started berating me and dad and pa when I started having an attack. he shoved me, I couldn't respond and I landed on my wrist."

Moonma nodded, gently pushing my bangs out of my eyes. "Someone get Madam Pomfrey."

"We were early, he started class early and was trying to say that we were late." I whimpered, "He gave us detention. Me and Nevil. I was just trying..." Moonma silently cut me off, placing a finger on my lips with a sympathetic smile.

"I know," she whispered as Lee, Fred and George rushed in with Madam Pomfrey. Pomfrey quietly wrapped my wrist and handed me a potion, which I silently drank. It tasted horrible but it quickly got to work mending the snaped bone.

"Sorry. Dumbledore gave us a really hard time." Lee sighed, shaking his head.

"Thank you Lee, I'm proud of you three. Actually I'm proud of all four of you." Moonma said, gently ruffling my hair as I took a few calming breaths. "Lee, Fred, George. You were willing to fetch Madam Pomfrey, and dealing with resistance. For that, each of you will be awarded ten points." 

"Harry you have been really brave. You shouldn't have had to go through that, but you stood up for yourself and you defended your friends and family. For that, I will award you five points." SHe whispered, gently picking me up. "You will also be excused from classes today, and potions for a week."

Rubbing my eye I smiled, silently snuggling against her side as she carried me to the Griffidore tower. Attacks always left me so drained, and I hated it. But it was nice having Moonma taking care of me. Even if it was just for a little bit of time.

* * *

As Halloween rolled around I was waiting with anticipation for something bad to happen. 

"Look, you don't have to act like a know it all bitch!" Ron hissed, glaring darkly at Hermione as we headed to the Great hall for dinner. Before I could say anything, Hermione took off sobbing.

"You're a real dick sometimes!" I hissed, glaring darkly as I sat next to Nevil. "Why are you so mean to her?"

"She acts like she knows everything!"

"Me and Hermione are likely on the same level, we have both tried to help you." I hissed, forcing myself to take a few deep breaths. "And yet you isolate her!"

"She's just more pompous about it."

"No, she's not Ron. You just don't like the fact that she is so much smarter than you." I hissed shaking my head as I ate. "Look let's drop the topic alright?"

Ron shrugged, shivering slightly as I glared. Turning my attention to my food, I gently took Nevil's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze as he let out a small whimper. I could hear his breath hitching slightly. Squeezing harder, I shot him a small apologetic smile. He let out a soft chuckle calming fairly quickly smiling as I continued eating. I wasn't focusing all that much on the world around me, and I had a feeling that he could tell.

"Troll! Troll in the dungeon!" My head shot up, a small chill running down my spine. Hermione was in danger again I hadn't been able to stop it. I had just gotten into a verbal with Ron about it. I knew this was going to happen I could have intersected her, helped her. Standing, my head was buzzing with a strange white noise as I rushed towards the bathroom I knew I would find her in. I didn't know if anyone was following and I didn't care. I was going to make up for my mistake one way or another.

"Sectumsempara!" I shouted, fear blinding me slightly as the Troll let out a loud shout. Casting the spell a second time I shuddered as It turned to me, bleeding heavily as it raised its club. My heart was trembling as it swung and I found myself immobilized.

"Wingardium Leviosa." I bearly registered the voice as I collapsed to the ground, the Troll letting out an angered growl. Aiming up I cast the spell once again, scrambling backwards to try to avoid the spray of blood, scrambling faster as the Troll lurched forward. Someone's arms wrapped around my chest pulling, pulling me close. Pushing myself into there embrace I let out a small sob of terror. My head was throbbing as the person gently pet my hair, a heavy shiver running down my spine. 

* * *

Letting out a small grown I slowly blinked awake, groaning as I tried to clear my head. My vision was still extremely blurry and my ears were ringing, but there was a gentle hand on my shoulder made me feel oddly safe. 

"Take it slow Harry."

Slowly my mind cleared as someone helped me take a sip op water. Rubbing an eye, I lay back against what I could only assume was a hospital bed, the soft smell of lavender filling nose. It was calming, and slowly my hearing and vision eased out a bit.

"Feel a bit better?" Moonma asked, kissing my forehead. "That was reckless, I hope you know that."

"I do."

"Good, with that being said, you saved her life." She whispered, gently pulling me into a deep hug. "I'm proud of you, all of you. I can't give you points, you recklessly put your lives in danger. "

"That's fair," I whispered, happily 


	4. Chapter 4

As I recovered from the shock of everything that happened I found myself slowly studying more and more with Draco. He was really intelligent, and he could be kind when he put his mind to it. I knew it was hard for him, with the way he was raised, and he could be a cunt, but Ron could as well so I was no reason to not hang out with him.

"Potter, I'm sorry about Snape." 

"I'm sorry?" I asked locking eyes with him over my book. 

"I'm sorry that he treats you the way he does. It's clear he doesn't like you not because of sho you are, but because of your parents." He said, making his way to my side. "I'm trying now to understand. I hope you know that."

"I know Draco. I'm grateful for that, really I am." I responded, gently leaning against his side. 

"Hey Draco, you want to go for a walk?"

"Sure." He responded, taking his books to get them checked out.

Following Draco out of the library I nodded towards the third floor. As we headed down Draco let out a shocked yell as Quirrel left the room. I pulled him close as I noticed the small amount of blood seeping through the sleeve of his robe. As we reached the landing Draco had calmed down but was white-knuckling my hand.

"Professor, what are you doing?" I asked, tilting my head. "I thought no one was alowed in there, not even the professors." 

Quirrel was silent for a moment, glancing between the two of us in confusion before he managed to recover. "You should b-both be in class." 

"Your class got cancelled, sir," 

"Then you should be st-studying?" He asked, tilting his head. "Not w-wandering the halls?" 

"Sir, you have taught us next to nothing. Not only that but you have been sneaking around the halls and acting completely suspicious. I could easily get you fired simply by getting my father involved."

Quirrel was quiet for a moment, pailing as his eyes trailed behind us. Looking back I chuckled nervously as moonma walked up to us. 

"Hello Black, Malfoy. Meet me in my classroom, both of you have been selected for special classes." She said, motioning for us to leave. Nither Draco of I argued as we headed towards the courtyard.

* * *

Following Draco into the classroom, I paused as I noticed a slightly large group of people. I didn't even recognize everyone. Of course, there was Ron, Hermione, and Nevil. I also knew Lee, Fred and George. But there was a group of three Slytherins - ginger with shoulder-length hair with tight curls, a tan girl with long blond hair, and a boy with black hair and snowy blue eyes- that seemed to be the twin's age- and a young Ravenclaw with wavy black hair. I didn't recognize any of them, but they all seemed happy to be there.

At the front of the class, Moonma was standing quietly with Remus and Sirius, both of whom were smiling proudly.

"Now many of you may be wondering why you are here. Some of you may not know who these two are, or this is important, but you are all exceptional people." Moonma said, smiling as we took our seats. "As such, Remus here has decided that you are all welcome to join his pack should you wish."

"Wait. What do you mean pack?"

"The marauders," Remus responded with a smile. "They protected me and we all protected those who needed it."

"You could be dicks at times. Dad said you used to bully the Slytherins." Draco said, blushing as Moonma shot him a look. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize. You're not wrong, we could be mean. But it was never one-sided. Those we were cruel to, they were just as bad." Sirius responded with a nod." And it was never just them."

Draco nodded taking a deep breath as he leaned against my side. 

"Now further you should all know that I am Remus, however, I am not the only one. There is also Moony, he's a werewolf, but not the kind that you might think. There are different types of Lycanmorphy." 

"Oh?" The small Ravenclaw said, eyes lighting us slightly. "Werewolves are real?"

"Yes Alix, they do. Some are bad, others are not." Remus responded, with a small nod. "This class will teach you the ins and outs of our world. About how our packs work, how our society works. To the best of my knowledge as I have never been in a pack with more than one werewolf."

The group chuckled as Remus leaned against the desk. 

"Not only that but you will all eventually learn how to become Anamagus," Moonma added, with a nod. "But not until later in the year, and not fully until later years."

* * *

Heading out to the quidditch field I Smiled and waved goodbye to Draco as he headed to the Slytherin changing room.

It hadn't taken that much to convince Moonma to sugest that he was the Slytherin Seeker, and to convince him to to attend tryouts. I dont know how Moonma did it, but Draco was there and he earned the spot fair an square. I was proud of him.

Heading up to the take off-platform I Smiled at the rest of my team. My smile faded as Wood took me by the shoulders, and locking eyes with me. "Black. About your relationship with Malfoy."

A small chill ran down my spine. Wood hadn't been invited to the Marauder Class, was he that different?

"Keep it off the field alright? There is no room for romance on the battlefield." He said, voice dead serious as he locked eyes with me. "Understand?"

Nodding I blushed, smiling slightly as he ruffled my messy black hair. 

"Good."

Taking off I silently enjoyed the game, keeping my eye out for the snitch. A buldger nearly missed my shoulder, grazing my ear painfully, but I kept going pausing only when Draco placed a hand on my shoulder. He didn't need to say anything and took off again when I nodded. I was alright, the pain had already faded. Glancing over at Wood he gave a quick nod. 

The game was going well until my broom lurched. My heart stopped for a moment as I felt myself falling forward. I scrambled to grab my broom again, yelping as someone caught me by the cape.

"You good?" Draco's voice caught me off guard. "Now grab the snitch I physically can't."

Before I even registered what happened I quickly snatched the snitch out of the air as he pulled me to his broom. The entire crowd erupted in cheers, as he landed, kissing me gently. It wasn't until after we broke apart that they didn't cheer when I caught the snitch, or when Draco caught me. They cheered when he kissed me, they were cheering us.

"Get on with the game lovebirds!" Lee called pausing as I held up the snitch. "Oh! Malfoy isn't the only one making great catches today! Black caught the Golden Snitch! Griffindor gained one hundred and fifty points, Griffindor wins!"

* * *

"Alright, I stand corrected Black. Love can be important in the field." Wood said, patting me on the shoulder. "Your ear okay?"

"Yeah, it didn't get me that good," I responded, smiling as he ruffled my hair.

"We didn't win by that much did we?"

"No, it was a good game on both sides. They had a strong defence and an even stronger offence. They did really good."

Chuckling I leaned against his chest. A small pain was entering my shoulder and I slowly realized, the buldger hadn't hit my ear that bad, but it had hit my shoulder. The adrenalin was just fading.

"I need to go to the hospital wing." I hissed, kneck burning with pain.

"Yeah, your bleeding," Oliver said, voice slowly gaining a tone of concern. "We need better uniforms, This red is literally blood red."

* * *

"What happened Oliver?" Madam Pomfrey asked as I silently sat on one of the beds.

"Buldger."

Pomfrey nodded, bringing me to a private bed before motioning for me to take off my shirt. The motion was painful glancing at my shoulder. It was an unhealthy red, blistered and bleeding. Pomfrey let out a small sigh, cleaning my shoulder gingerly. 

"It's not the bone or the muscle, it's a terrible friction burn. It's going to be hard to heal, burns are complicated."

Nodding, I lay on my side as she started her work. It was painful, but when she used the cooling cream it felt nice. 

"Alright, that's all I can do for now. I want to see you in a week to see how that heals." As she wrapped my arm I let out a small sigh as I hopped down. "Be careful with it."

"Thank you."


	5. Chapter 5

Snuggling with Draco I smiled as Nevil entered the Griffindor dorm. I could see a letter in his hand, and I felt my heart sink as I took note of the concern on his face.

"Nev?" I asked, slowly sitting as he made his way to our side. "What's going on?"

"Hagrid has a dragon!"

"Wot?" Draco said, jolting up. "He wot?"

"Dragon. He has a baby dragon!" He gasped. "I've been trying to convince him to send it somewhere safe but he isn't listening!"

"Fuck. Have you told anyone else?"

"No. I don't know what to do."

For a moment Draco was silent before he started laughing. "This is a group of complete messes of human beings and I love all of you." He said, gently kissing my cheek. "Both of you need to breath. It's not really your problem. I know this might be a bit harsh, but if he is willing to put his life at risk, you can't stop him."

"We can try," I responded, taking a deep breath. "And Draco, I don't care about him in this case. I care about the dragon, we need to get it... Newt!"

"Who?"

"Newt Scamander," I said, with a smile. "I don't doubt that Charlie or Bill would know him. If we can get a letter to him, we could probably easily handle the Dragon."

"Tha's not a bad idea," Draco responded, leaning against me gently. "You're really smart."

Heading to the desk I quickly grabbed a quill and some parchment.

_Dear Charlie Weasly,_

_It has come to our attention that hagrid has a pet dragon. We know that it illegal but we don't want to endanger the baby. We were hoping that either you or Bill -we will be righting him as well- could get us in contact with Newt Scamander._

_I know that he handles magical beasts and we were hoping that he knew where to bring it. if we can figure out what kind of dragon it is we will inform you. 7_

_Thank you for your consideration,_

_Harry Black, Nevil Longbottom, Draco Malfoy_

_P.S This was Draco's idea but I have to show some Gryffindor pride._

Drago playfully punched my arm as Nevil folded the letter and prepped it for delivery. 

"Aww, the rivalry has to stand?" He asked, pouting playfully as I rolled my eyes.

"I love you Draco, but if I have to I will destroy you on the field if I must to win the cup," I responded, kissing his cheek. "But it would be cool if we could have a house tie at the end of the year."

"Is that what you want?"

"Yes."

"Then we can aim for a tie."

* * *

The response from Charlie both excited me and shocked me. Pulling Draco into a hug I lead him and Nevil into the library. 

"What is it, Harry?" Hermione asked walking up to us. "I saw you rush in, and I wanted to know what was going on."

"Promis not to tell anyone," I said, smiling as she nodded. "We sent Charlie a letter about the dragon that Hagrid, asking if he could ask Newt what to do about it. Charlie didn't respond. Newt did!" 

Hermione was silent for a moment, before smiling brightly. "Read it!"

"Dear Harry, Draco and Nevil, 

Thank you for trying to get in contact with me. It would be quite useful to know what kind of Dragon it is, but I do not want you to put yourselves in danger. As such I will be visiting as soon as possible, it would be an honour to meet you.

As a quick note, I know the Marauders. If you need to get in contact with me it might faster to go through them, Charlie has been running one of my Dragon reserves -which are massive- and Bill is a highly intelligent Curse-breaker who occasionally helps me transport magical beasts.

I appreciate that you credited your friends, but have to say that using your ordering logic then Hufflepuff is the best house. 

Newt Scamander." 

"Alright, that's impressive," Hermione whispered, gasping slightly. "I'm impressed."

"Thank's Hermione," I said, smiling as she sat next to us. "Where is Ron?" 

"He's not part of this one." Nevil responded, "I thought he would go to Dumbledor or something so I didn't bring it to him."

Hermione nodded with a smile. "Since we are here, why don't we study a bit?"

No one argued as Hermione placed her Herbology book on the table handing out quill's ink and parchment. The rest of the day was an interesting study session, the four of us joking around as we did out work. My mind was clear, and I loved my friends. A few times I wondered if we should ask Ron to join, but I never suggested it. He wouldn't care, he would just bring the mood down, and the mood was perfect.


	6. Chapter 6

Stretching my back I smiled, nuzzling against Draco's side with a small smile. He was slowly becoming a regular in the dorm, and I loved it. It was nice waking up in a warm bed, with someone who I loved. Kissing his cheek I headed down to the main room, grabbing my exercise bag I headed out to the courtyard, groaning slightly at large puddles. It had rained over the night apparently, which made my morning routine a bit.

"You do know you are going to have to change it up when it gets cold right?" Sirius asked, making his way to my side with a small chuckle. "I heard you got a letter, can I see it?"

"Newt wrote you didn't he?"

"No Hermione told us." He responded with a small chuckle. "Said we would be proud of you."

"It's in the dorm."

"And you and Malfoy? He's not like his father right?"

"He's trying. He's slips up from time to time, but he's actively trying." I responded, smiling as he ruffled my hair. "He's great Pupa, I love him."

Sirius smiled proudly, pulling me into a hug and leading me into the castle. We were silent but it was a good walk as we entered the great hall. heading to Draco's side I smiled as Sirius sat across from us, between Hermione and Ron. Breakfast was eaten in silence, but it was comforting. Draco was snuggling into my side and Nevil was fawning over Ron, who seemed completely oblivious. Hermione was nose deep in a book and Sirius was watching us proudly.

* * *

Heading into the library after I finished lunch I smiled as I saw my friends. Draco, Nevil and Hermione were already working and I felt a strong sense of pride welling up in my chest. Ron never joined us, but I didn't mind too much of it. It wasn't something that he would enjoy and I wasn't going to push it on him. 

"Guys, I have to tell you something," I said taking a deep breath as I walked up. "I just need you to trust me okay?

"Alright, shoot," Hermione said as I nuzzled into Draco's side. 

"I'm from the future. It's a little hard to explain, and I don't fully understand as it happened when I died." I responded, taking a deep breath. "I kind of know what is going to happen, but things are already so different. I mean Draco wasn't this nice the first time around."

Everyone was silent as I snuggled against Draco's side. A small chill ran down my spine. 

"It's alright Harry." Draco whispered, "I'm just sorry that you were treated the way that you were."

"It's hard to think that Dumbledor would act like that but, I trust you," Nevil added with a nod.

"At this point, I don't doubt it." Hermione shrugged. "You're smart for your years, but you're traumatized. Harry anyone can see that."

Laughing gently I smiled, turning my attention to my work. Sadly I couldn't focus, sighing heavily as I closed my book. Christmas was approaching and things were going to start changing fast. 

"Guys, can we make a battle plan for the third floor? We are going to have to go down there eventually." I said letting out a small sigh. "I mean, one thing we have to prevent that me Hermione and Ron did the first time. Is stop Quirrel from getting the Philosopher's stone, having Voldemort completely take over his body and become immortal."

"Okay that's a good reason to be concerned," Nevil whispered, swallowing gently. 

"Wait that day we went to the third floor. Did you intend to explore?" Draco asked, eyes widening with concern. "Because that seems incredibly stupid."

"Would you be insulted if I said I wanted to test you?"

"A little, but at the same time I get it." He responded kissing my cheek. "You seem to have done some stupid shit. And no that's not an insult, you fought a troll earlier this year. I think that can be considered an observation."

"That is fair." I sighed, chuckling slightly. "Do you want to help?"

"Yes, I do. I don't want you to put yourself in danger without me." 

"Good, now we should also bring Ron into this," I suggested, taking a deep breath. "I mean I desperately want to keep him as a friend, but he's different now."

"Then maybe you shouldn't be friends this time," Draco suggested letting out a small sigh. "I don't mean to sound rude, but you're clearly not that close. I suppose you could be friends still, but maybe not to the same extent." 

"Well, the levels would be a Cerberus that we can put to sleep with music, devil's snare, flying keys, wizard chess and a potion riddle." 

"I can construct a plan on that later," Hermione responded with a small smile. "Try to relax for now alright?"

Nodding I took a deep breath and turned my attention back to the homework. It was still hard to focus, but it was a lot easier knowing that he had a good chance to take out Quiarel.


	7. Chapter 7

"Harry wake up!" Jolting up I hissed at the pain that entered my shoulder. "Wus happening?" 

"Harry, he escaped." 

"Hermione? What are you doing here?" Draco groaned, gently rubbing his eye. "No not important, what's wrong? Who escaped?"

"Peter! He's in my home town." She whimpered, a tone of pure terror. "If my parents are killed, they will probably take my magic!"

"Not if they value there lives they won't," Draco responded, gently rubbing his eye. "We will protect you."

Hermione was silent for a moment, pulling us into a deep hug. "Thank you. I'm going to talk to McGonagall in the morning. I'm just kind of scared."

"It's okay Hermione, your okay," I whispered, smiling as she snuggled next to us. "You can spend the night if you want."

"Thank you." She whispered, purring softly as she slowly fell asleep. Kissing her forehead I quickly kissed Dracko before drifting off.

* * *

The next morning I silently followed Hermione to Moonma's office, smiling as she headed into the room. Heading to get breakfast, I collapsed next to Draco and leaned into his side, grabbing an apple and taking a bite.

"Hey, you know where Hermione is?" Ron asked sitting across from me with a smile. 

"Talking to Professor McGonagall, she's going through a lot," I responded. "Try to be easy on her alright?"

Ron was silent but nodded, smiling as I took a bite of eggs. 

"What?"

"You eat basically the same thing every day. Why is that?"

"Well, it's a good breakfast," I responded, sighing slightly. "It's also a preference."

Ron shrugged, turning to Draco, "What's your plan?"

"What do you mean?" He asked, tilting his head slightly.

"What are you trying to accomplish with Harry?"

"A healthy relationship." 

"But you're a Snake."

"I know, but I love Harry," Draco responded, letting out a small sigh. "Why is this an issue?"

Ron didn't respond, dropping his gaze to the table. The rest of breakfast was eaten in silence, no one really wanting to say anything. Draco gently took my hand, leaning against my shoulder as we headed out to our class.

* * *

Heading to the Quidditch field I smiled as Madam Hooch made her way up to us. "My two youngest quidditch players. I'm impressed with both of you."

"Thank you, professor," I responded, blushing slightly. "But I got a lot from you."

"Really? This is your first year Potter." She responded, raising an eyebrow. "You are not very good at hiding secrets are you?"

"I'm sorry? I don't know what..."

"Professor McGonagall told me, I know about your current situation." She sighed, shaking her head. "What she told me still impressed me, you really are a fast learner, and you have already regained the skills you had growing up."

"Oh, yeah. I'm sorry I didn't directly tell you at tryouts." I sighed, dropping my gaze to the ground. "I just didn't think you would believe me and that it would hurt my chances. I'm sorry if you think I tried to blindside you."

"I don't, and I do understand why you did what you did." 

"I feel like there is something else you would like to say," Draco asked, tilting his head. 

"Yes, I was hoping to be able to move you up to the second-year class. You both have the skills that you require for this year, but could learn some of the techniques that are offered next year." She responded smiling proudly. "I think it would do you well. However, due to it being close to the end of the year, that would be difficult. So I talked with your families, and decided that you will be considered advanced first years, and will jump to the third-year class next year if your grades are high enough."

"R-rally?" 

"Of course Mr. Black." She responded with a smile. "But only if you want to."

"Of course Professor, thank you," I responded, smiling as Draco nodded. "It would be an honour."

"Alright, now get into the lineup." 

* * *

By the time Charms rolled around I was somewhat concerned that I hadn't seen Hermione all day. Normally she sat with me and today she was missing. Something had happened, and I could feel my heart tightening in my chest. 

"She's going to be okay Harry. Focus on your lessons okay?" Draco whispered letting out a small sigh as I began tapping my foot. "Go, I'll explain to the professor."

Kissing his cheek I headed out of class, making my way to the Library. Finding my way to my favourite nook, I set my stuff down and grabbed a large stack of just stories. Laying back in the red beanbag chair, I started reading. For the most part, I stuck to adventure and Sci-fi, I was living an adventure myself sure but the magical take on Sci-fi was breathtaking. Muggles would never dream up half of what Wizards and Witches thought they would.

"Having a hard day?" 

"Hermione! Where have you been!" I shout-whispered, pulling her into a hug. "I thought something happened to you."

"No, I'm sorry. I knew I couldn't focus in class so I asked your Dad to help me out today."

Taking a deep breath I smiled holding up one of the books I had finished. "Have you read these? They are wild."

"A few, but I prefer romance. Mind you it's ironically, and the really bad ones." She said, sitting next to me with a smile. "But you clearly enjoy them. How did you find this nook? Took e a bit to find you here." 

"Puppa said they set up a fort here and pointed me towards it. Looks like this was what was left." I said with a smile. 

Hermione fell into the blue bag next to mine, curling into a small ball. Chuckling I turned my attention back to my book, after a bit, I closed the book and nodded for her to follow. Taking her hand I silently lead her back to the dorm -signing my books out happily- and holding her hand happily.

Reaching the dorm I smiled as she collapsed on the couch, curling into a ball as I silently covered her with a small blanket. "Tired?"

"A bit. I didn't sleep all that great last night, you know why." 

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I can't help but feel a little guilty about this. I know I shouldn't, and that I don't have to be. I just am." I responded, grabbing a beanbag from the closet. "I think this is low key the biggest, brought in by half-bloods and muggle-borns."

"I think that is a 'the marauder had these, they must be good' and people liked them," Hermione added with a chuckle. "Spoiled by Professor McGonagall."

Chuckling I lay against the couch, slowly drifting to sleep.

* * *

"A little cereal romantic are we?" Glancing up I groaned lightly glanced up at the source of the voice. For a moment I didn't recognize who it was, but as my vision snaped in I smiled. Pupa was smirking down at us, a playful glint in his eyes. "Crushes hitting you hard?"

"A bit, yeah," I admitted, chuckling. "I don't understand any of this."

"Your young yet, you will figure it out. But I am more than willing to help where you need it," He whispered, ruffling my hair. "But I will put this out there. You don't need monogamy, polygamy and polyamory are all valid."

Chuckling lightly I pulled him into a gentle hug, snuggling to his side as he sat next to me. He was in a black leather jacket which was warm, he had probably been outside for most of the day. The lead on his hands was basically a confirmation of my suspicions. He mainly drew landscapes and architecture, Hogwarts had the format in bulk. Even the castle could be amazing with the different angles and at different hours.

"What were you drawing?" I asked, nodding at his hand.

"Whomping willow. It's the only tree that posses."

"It posses?"

"Yeah, sometimes."

"That's kind of cool," I said, chuckling slightly. "Have fun?"

"Always. This is what I love like Remus enjoys writing."

* * *

"Harry!" Hermione's voice startled me awake, I felt Draco shift beside me as I shot awake.

"You alright?"

"They're dead. He killed them, he had no reason." She whimpered, breath shaking. 

"Oh god. I'm so sorry Hermione, it's going to be okay." I whispered, chest burning slightly. "We're going to make it better, were going to find a way to make you safe."

"I don't care about that!" She hissed, voice breaking slightly. "I want my parents back!"

Deciding not to say anything I stood and silently pulled her into a hug, petting her back as she broke into tears. It broke my heart seeing her cry, but I couldn't really think of something that would be comforting at this point. I wasn't good at helping people, I didn't know what to say that would just comfort her. I was scared, I know Peter probably was out for revenge. My family was possibly in danger too, even knowing that I wasn't close with my aunt or cousin, I would never wish death on them.

"I'm sorry Mione, I can't give that to you. You know I would if I could, but I can't." Draco whispered, making his way to the end of the bed. "I know this may not be exactly what you want to hear, but I will help."

After a while, Hermione slowly started relaxing. She shivered heavily, and I could still feel the tension in her shoulders. 

"Thank you, both of you." She whispered, pulling back slightly. "I'm sorry I yelled ay you."

"Don't apologize for being in pain," I whispered, nuzzling her cheek. "You're going through something terrible, that no one should. You should never apologize for getting upset."

"I don't know what I'm going to do. I have nowhere to turn, and there is a chance that they will be able to take my magic. Draco you can thy to help but we are just kids! Your father won't care about me, I'm just a mudblood in their eyes." She hissed, her voice full of pain. "I hate this."

"There are so many people who care about you Mione. Let's go to Moonma and see what she thinks." I whispered, smiling as Hermione nuzzled into my side. She was kind of shorter than me, just height har her hed rested below the burn. Draco leaned into my good shoulder, and for a bit, we just sat there snuggling. It was comforting, and for a bit, I never wanted to leave.

After a bit, I quietly nodded to the door. Hermione pulled away, smiling as I silently followed. No one spoke as we headed to Moonma's office, a combination of respect and pain preventing everyone from knowing what to say. At the moment words were our enemies because the next words spoken were going to hurt.


	8. Chapter 8

Heading into Dad's class I took a deep breath, taking a window seat and pulling out a notebook and a pen. Opening it to the first page I just started writing. 

_Butterflies_

_Some people don't think that the butterfly effect is real, but I will tell you that it is;_

_The reality I came from, wasn't like this._

_Some things were better, some worse;_

_but none of them ever happened because this is the new course._

"Poetry? That's a good coping mechanism Harry, I'm proud." He whispered, gently ruffling my hair. "Class is going to start soon, but if you need anything, even just tips. My doors are open."

"Thank you, Dad," I responded, smiling as he headed to the front of the class.

"Some of you may have heard about recent events. About the escape and deaths at the hands of Peter Pettigrew." Dad said with a slightly shaky breath. "For those who haven't, you don't have to be afraid. We will protect you, not just this pack of school. The Aurors are involved and they will offer your family protection. But what we are talking about, it's not the only thing. No today I want to talk about the perceived burden or responsibility and survivors' guilt. Does anyone know what this means?"

"You think you're responsible for something your not?" Alix suggested, tilting her head. "Or when you feel guilty for surviving."

"Exactly, now the two can be related. But they aren't always. The most important thing about them both is that what happened to cause these, are never the person who has them's fault." Dad said leaning against his desk. "I know because for me it developed into something more. When I was bit, I was a child but that was never where my story started. I was abused even before that because of my parent's relationships. Because of the isolation and psychological abuse, I started developing this feeling like it was my fault that she hated my father and my mother and myself."

"It only got worse when I was bit, and when I turned fourteen she murdered them and blamed me. This was a time I wasn't that close with my pack, we little falling out because of a prank gone wrong, and I didn't know how to cope. So I blamed myself. I blamed myself for being born, for being bit and for never fighting back. I blamed myself for there deaths." Dad's breath was hitching, and he had to pause to regain his control. "I don't anymore, not to the same extent, and I have the help of my family, my pack that I need. But I came out of it worse off. I'm depressed, I've been diagnosed with PTSD, and I don't know how to cope still."

Taking a breath he dabbed an eye with a tissue he paused, slowly calming his breath. "But I found a coping mechanism, or more an outlet. I wrote, and I still do. I write short stories, based on things that have happened to me with some changes."

"Does it help?"

"I think it would do more if I wasn't clinically depressed, but yes it does." He responded taking a deep breath and smiling. "But I would never say to only lean on a coping mechanism or a hobby. Talk to someone you trust, someone that you know can be mature enough to help you. For me, this was my mate, Sirius. I know he can be a goofball but he also went through a lot and we helped each other, I also had Professor McGonagall who always helped when I needed her."

"That's amazing Professor," Ron said, smiling happily. "Your really brave."

This was the first time in a while that I truly did agree with Ron, and wasn't wondering what he was trying to say. Dad was being really brave, talking about the abuse that he went through. He had suffered, and he was sharing his experience. 

"No, I'm not. I'm just being honest, it hurts sure but I waited so long. That's why I'm saying this. Not because I am brave, but because you can be." He responded. "Don't bottle your emotions and your guilt, talk to people or if your not reddy find a safe way to express your pain."

As class came to an end I held back, pulling Dad into a hug. "You are brave Dad, you know that. You just have a hard time seeing it, so I'll see you as brave for you."

* * *

Heading to the library I pulled Draco into a back hug, gently kissing his kneck with a chuckle as he let out a startled yelp.

"Oh sod off." He teased, pulling me into a side hug. "Why did you hang back?"

"Just helping dad a bit." 

"That's good, he looked like he needed you," Draco whispered, pulling me into a soft kiss. "He seemed, well I mean he is is, but... I think he was just depressed after that."

"Not necessarily entirely depressed, but he did get himself down quite a bit. I think it hurts to talk about what happened and I don't blame him for that." I responded, leaning against his side "I know that you don't either, I just I'm sorry. I'm going off a little bit, just tired."

"It's okay. I get it, today is really painful." Draco whispered, letting out a small sigh. "I just wish things were easier."

"I know, I do too," I whispered kissing Draco. "I need to be honest, I love you with all of my heart. But I also like Hermione."

"I had a feeling. I don't mind, are you going to chose or?"

"Puppa said that we don't have to," I responded, smiling happily. "And, at least right now, I don't want to."

Draco chuckled, as he stood, leaning against me as I headed towards Moonma's office. It would be good to check in on Hermione, to see how she was doing. I knew she was in pain, but I also didn't want her to be alone. Sure she had Moonma, but Me, Draco and Nevil were all important to her healing too. Collecting Nevil from the dorm, the three of us continued on our way. Again I thought that I wondered if I should invite Ron, but he was hard to agree with at the best of times. This wouldn't really be something he knew how to be sensitive with, at least not yet. There was a chance that he was learning, but I was still going to be cautious. 

"Am I being mean to Ron?"

"What do you mean Harry?" Nevil asked, tilting his head.

"I mean I don't ask him to do things anymore, and I don't know if I'm not giving him a good enough chance."

"I think you could give him chances, but not when you don't feel like you can trust him. I trust your opinion Harry, you know what you're doing." 

"Thank you, Draco." I smiled leaning into his side. "Nevil?"

"I mean we leave him out a lot, but he can be a bit blindsided," Nevil said, chuckling nervously. "I think he could learn to understand it's just, I don't think you know how to communicate with him this time around. I feel like you are also slightly blinded by what happened in your future, and you don't mean to be, but you have a hard time with this timeline."

"That makes sense, thank you."


	9. Chapter 9

Remus took a deep breath as he headed into the Teacher's bathroom. Much like the Preaficts, there was a large pool-like tub, but near the back, there was a beautiful shower. It had ornate golden nobs and a beautiful golden head. It was clearly newer than the pool-tub, but it held the same elegance. For someone like me, who was not a strong swimmer, it was useful. With one not being in the Prefects bathroom, I had been using this one since I was sixteen.

* * *

"Remus, this is stupid." Sirius chuckled as he swam past me in the large pool-sized tub. "What do they expect everyone to be bathing at the same time?" 

"I don't know, I just think..."I felt it as it happened, but I couldn't react. I had stopped treading, but I couldn't recover. My mind was racing as my head dipped under the water. Attempting to push myself above, I whimpered as nothing happened, water flooding my nose as I attempted to take a deep breath. My mind quickly started swirling, I couldn't move, I felt like I was sinking even, the surface crowing further. The edges of my vision blurred slightly as I yelled, part of me knew I was just dooming myself, but part of me hoped that Sirius would notice that anyone would notice.

'Please, help.' I plead silently, lungs burning as they filled quickly with water, I could hardly see as something black approached me. As my consciousness faltered, I felt something press against my chest, only recognizing it to be Siris as an arm wrapped itself around my chest, the world around me fading to black soon after.

* * *

'I thought that I was going to die.' Shuddering I pulled off my cloaths, running the shower to a comfortable temperature. 'I hate pools.'

Stepping under the stream I let out a soft purr. I hated the fact that I wasn't with Sirius, that I couldn't share his warmth, or take in his natural scent. The sweet scent of flowers laced loosely with weed. I knew he hadn't smoked it since we were kids, that he would never smoke when he needed to be sharp, but he still lightly smelled of it. It wasn't the strong painful sent, it was somewhat sweet and alluring.

Purring I took a deep breath, I just needed a shower. Relaxing a bit, I poured shampoo into my hand I massaged it into my hair. Rinsing off, I washed my body before turning off the shower and towelling off quickly. Pulling on some clean clothes, I headed back to my room. As I walked, I towelled my hair and pushed the door open.

"Hey Chappie, you have a letter fo me?" I said, smiling as I gently pet the small owl's head. "Thank you, you want some peanuts?"

Chappie trilled, puffing up happily as I poured a few in front of her. Taking the letter I silently collapsed back on my bed, opening it with a shuddering breath. "Oh god."

Collapsing back onto the bed I forced myself to take a few deep breaths, a hard chill running down my spine. "This can't be real, I don't want it to be."

Forcing air into my lungs, I stood, tears burning behind my eyes. Heading out I rushed to the great hall, stoping as Moonma took me by the shoulders as I headed towards the Professor's table.

"Remus?" She whispered, gently squeezing my shoulders. "What happened? Your hair isn't even dry yet."

"She escaped, Moonma, she escaped." I whimpered, swallowing as she pulled me into a deep hug. "She's going to kill everyone."

Moonma gently pulled me into the hall, holding me close as a chill ran down my spine. Now we didn't only have to deal with Peter but my aunt as well. Both of them were going to kill my pack, they were going to take everything from me. I couldn't breathe, my chest was burning painfully. 

"We are not going to let that happen Remus. You know we aren't going to let anyone hurt you anymore." She whispered, petting me back gently. "I'm going to protect you."

* * *

"Dad, what is going on?" Harry asked, crossing his arms as he leaned against the doorframe of my room. "You've been jumpy lately."

"It's alright Harry, everything is going to be okay," I responded, laying back on my bed. "It's going to be dealt with."

"But you bottling, it's easy to see that you are." He sighed, shaking his head. "Dad, you are teaching us not to bottle our emotion and are turning and doing just that."

Letting out a small sigh I turned to Harry, heartbreaking slightly as we locked eyes. He looked so scared, so concerned. I hated it, lying to him, but he had enough on his plate as it was. He was already worried about Peter, he didn't need to worry about another escape from Azkaban, about my problems. 

"Dad!" He hissed, closing the door behind him. "You have had three panic-attacks withing the week, something is really bugging you. Please, what happened?"

"My aunt escaped." I sighed, "She escaped and now both her and Peter are on the loose and want to kill everyone in my family."

"But it's being dealt with right?" 

"Of course, we have people on it. There are Aurors looking for both of them, I'm just scared." I responded, breath trembling. "It brings a lot back."

Harry nodded, nuzzling into my side. Holding him close, I took a deep breath, my chest was somewhat heavy but it was nice to have him with me. To be holding my pup in my arms, and just snuggling. It would have been better if Sirius was with us, but this was still comfortable. 

"Are you alright?"

"Just not a good day," I responded, ruffling his hair with a small purr. "It will be okay, everything is going to be alright." 

"Wait, werewolves purr?" 

"Yeah, there are a few kinds of purrs. A supportive one or we can purr when we feel safe and happy. " I responded, smiling slightly. "Or well, when inticing mates, but that is different. Very different."

Holding Harry close, I smiled, allowing myself to fall asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Headin out to the quidditch pitch I smiled as I caught sight of Draco. He looked really goon in his emerald green sweater and his black leggings. Smiling he made his way up to me, he pulled me into a deep hug. Kissing him gently I leaned into his shoulder. 

"Everything alright?" 

"Yeah, kind of," I responded with a sigh. "Remus' aunt escaped as well, and now there are two people that want to kill everyone." 

"Oh. That's great." He said voice laced with sarcasm.

"It's being dealt with, but it hurts to see dad like this," I responded, heartbreaking slightly. "He's so scared."

Draco nodded, holding me close. Taking a deep breath I felt myself relaxing, his body was warm and I felt his head next to mine. Holding him close, I pushed myself into his side. head on his shoulder I followed him out of the courtyard and towards the lake. It was a beautiful day and the sun felt nice against my skin.

As we neared the lake I smiled, eyes landing on Hermione. She was in a large Ravenclaw blue jacket and was sitting next to the lake. Heading to her side I sat next to her, smiling as Draco joined us. Holding them close, I ignored the cold of the snow blanket that covered the ground. The warmth from them was enough for me as we silently snuggled, the sun warming me more.

"Everything is so strange, but I love it. This is what I want with my life, the people I love and a lake. I want to live by a lake." I said, smiling happily. "A year-round cottage maybe."

"Already thinking about your future?" Turning I smiled as I saw Ron approaching. "Sorry if I've been a bit mean. I'm not used to seeing Slytherin's so soft."

"I get that." Draco shrugged. "It's not the most common for a Slytherin to be in a relationship with a Gryffindor."

Ron chuckled softly, sitting next to Hermione. "You want to live in a place like this?"

"Yeah, isn't it nice?"

"It is, I just don't know if I would live like this all the time," Ron responded with a small nod. "But I get why you would. It suits you, Harry, this really does seem like as somewhere were you could be happy."

Standing with a nod I dusted myself off with a small shiver. "Let's go inside, I'm getting kind of cold."

"Alright, where do you want to go?" Draco asked, nuzzling into my side. "Library?"

"I think I have a better place, dad told me about something called the Room of Requirements," I responded, smiling as Hermione leaned into my other side. "Ron, can you retrieve Nevil? We will meet you at the bottom of the grand staircase."

Ron nodded and rushed off as three rest of us headed to the staircase. It wasn't long before Ron returned, Nevil in tow. Smiling I nodded for the group to follow as I set off.

* * *

"What the heck is this place?" Ron asked, gasping slightly as we headed into the room. It was a grand dorm room, with a beautiful fireplace large carpets. There were chairs and couches and was admittedly a bit excessive, but at the same time, I understood. It gave everyone space, and it would allow us to visit with more people. It would be good for everyone, a place to getaway. There were bookshelves and toys, and hiding places. This was our room, this was our place.

"This is the Room of Requirement or the room that we need," I explained with a smile, making my way to the fireplace. "This is our room."

"This is kind of amazing," Nevil said, pulling Ron to a couch with a bright smile. "Do you think that we will always be able to come here?"

"Probably, but I also think it's going to evolve. It's going to change as we do." I responded, smiling as Draco pushed himself into my side. "This where we belong together, completely."

Hermione nodded, laying on the second couch, rolling onto her side with a smile. Curling into a small ball, I lay my head on Draco's lap with a smile. Everything felt right, and for a moment the world around me faded. There was no danger, no threats, just us. As everything came back, I wondered if I should bring Remus and Sirius to our room, to allow them to enjoy our space. It would help them I knew it, but part of me wanted to keep the room to the five of us. 

'Eventually.' I thought, quickly grabbing a blanket and draping it over me and Draco's shoulders. 'But not yet. For now, I just want to enjoy it here.'

* * *

Heading to the library I smiled, collapsing between Draco and Hermione. Nevil was sitting across from us, with Ron sitting next to him. Taking a deep breath, I bit my lip. I was starting to get a bit concerned about Quirrel, it was surprisingly quiet and I knew something was going to happen. Not for a while, but with everything that could happen, I was anticipating something horrible to happen. 

"Are you alright?" Ron asked, tilting his head. "What's eating at you?"

"I just feel like something is going to happen," I admitted, shaking my head. "I feel like something big is going to happen. Something extremely dangerous is going to happen." 

"Are you scared that Peter is going to attack?" Nevil asked, concern filling his eyes.

"I'm worried about the third floor. There has to be something there. It cant be nothing." I responded, shaking my head. "But I don't really know what, I can't figure it out."

"Well, if there is anything it's probably under control," Ron said, smiling slightly. "But I do wonder. Why is it so dangerous?" 

"That's a good question, but we shouldn't worry about that just yet," Hermione suggests, taking a deep breath. "We should focus on our work."

"Agreed, I think that we shouldn't concern ourselves with issues that are not yet threatening us," Draco added, shaking his head. "We will focus on it when the issue starts really getting bad."

Nodding I smiled, turning my attention to my work. Christmas was in a week, we would be able to take a break and we would be able to truly just focus on us. On the pack and on just being kids. No work, no real responsibilities, just Christmas. It was going to be amazing, and magical. 

Finishing my homework, I kissed Draco lightly. Heading out I headed to check on Dad, entering the office with a bright smile. I was not prepared for what I saw when I did, I probably never could have been. Dad was leaning back on his desk, with Puppa on top of him. They were kissing passionately and it didn't take too much to figure out what they were doing. 

Backing out I retreated to the dorm, collapsing to my bed and burying myself under my blankets. I didn't need to see that, it was good to know Dad and Puppa were okay, but I didn' need to see that. They should have locked the door, they should have known better. 

Taking a deep breath I lay back on my bed, glancing up at the carving in the wood. They were meant for each other, and I was slightly invading. Sure they should have been more careful, but they probably thought they had been. They were happy, I should have been careful.

* * *

Heading into Remus's cabin I smiled, taking everything in. There was a large Christmas tree in the living room, a beautiful fireplace, and it looked rustic. It was a place like this that I wanted to live with my family. Heading to the living room I pulled Draco into a deep hug, snuggling against his side with a smile. 

"Hey, Harry. Come check out your room!" Ron called from the top of the stairs.

Heading up I smiled as I entered the large room. There was a double bed near a fair-sized window adorn with blankets, a desk with supplies, and a small bookshelf filled with my favourite wizarding world sci-fi books. In the corner was Hedwig's cage, where she was sleeping. The door was open and I gently pet her head as I sat at the desk, opening my journal once again.

_Winter Wonderland_

_A cabin with a burning fire, surrounded by a forest and sparkling snow._

_Nothing can be better in a Winter Wonderland, nothing but my family._

_Everyone is here, I have everything that I need._

Closing my book I headed back out, heading to the living room and joining my friends. Snuggling into Draco's side, I pulled Hermione into my other side. Holding them close I smiled as Remus started bringing out decorations. Standing to help him I quietly started stringing garland on the tree, smiling as he started adding ornaments. Soon Sirius, Nevil, Ron, Hermione, and Draco joined in. It was fun, adding decorations and stringing garland around the house. Dad had hung mistletoe at the bottom of the stairs, and there was a wreath on the door. 

"This is beautiful," I said, smiling as I lay on the couch. "I really like it here."

"It is beautiful isn't it?" Remus responded, sitting next to me. "Ron said you wanted to live in a place like this?"

"Yeah, I really would," I responded, smiling as Remus hugged me. 

"How would you like us to move here full time. I don't like Grimwald Place that much, and I feel like it would be good for all of us to live here instead." He responded, gently kissing my forehead. 

"I think that would be great." I responded, "I think it would be nice to stay here."

Remus nodded, smiling brightly as he stood heading up the stairs. I could only assume that it was to find Sirius, but I really didn't know what would follow. Shrugging I headed to find Draco's room. 

"Hey, what's up?" Draco asked as I entered his room.

"I kind of want to snuggle," I responded, smiling as he pulled me into a hug. Nuzzling against his side, I silently followed to his bed.

Sitting next to him I smiled as he gently kissed me, collapsing beside him as I nuzzled into his chest I smiled as he gently placed a hand on my chest before standing. For a moment I wondered what he was doing, but smiled as he brought me an outfit. Sitting I accepted it, smiling as I lay it out on the bed. It consisted of silver, off the shoulder sweater and emerald leggings. It wasn't an outfit I normally wore, but for a slightly lazy day or as pyjamas, it was perfect. 

"Thank you, Draco," I whispered pulling him into a gentle hug. "It's beautiful, my little secret Slytherin side outfit."

Draco chuckled, kissing my cheek as he pulled me into a back hug. "Want to try it on?"

"Yeah," I responded, pulling away slightly. "I'll even wear it on Christmas if you want."

"I think that would be nice." He responded, kissing me once more before sitting on the bed. For a moment I blushed but I quickly started changing. I could feel his eyes trailing my body, I felt my face flush as I pulled on the slightly tight -not form-fitting but definitely not loose- pants, chuckling as I took notice of the light flush that had entered his cheeks. Pulling on the shirt on I smiled. It was so comfortable, beautiful. 

"I love it Draco." 

"It looks really nice on you." He whispered, kissing my kneck softly. "I love you."

"I love you too," I responded, gently pulling him into a kiss. After a bit, I pulled back, quickly changing into my pyjamas once more. Pulling him back into a hug I kissed him once more, gasping slightly as the kiss became somewhat passionate. Sensing my shock, Draco pulled back, a small look of concern in his eyes. 

"I was shocked is all. I don't mind, but let's keep it light." I whispered, nuzzling into his kneck. "May I spend the night?"

"Of course." He responded, kissing me lightly. 

Crawling under the blankets, I smiled as Draco curled up next to me. Resting my head on his chest I slowly felt myself falling asleep ad he wrapped a hand around my chest.


	11. Chapter 11

Glancing into the open door of Draco's room I smiled as I saw Harry and Draco snuggling. Leaving the room I headed to the living room, smiling as Sirius handed me a cup of cocoa. Sitting next to him I snuggled against his chest, letting out a small comfortable purr. "They're so cute together." 

"I knew that you would find it kind of cute." He whispered, playfully nipping my ear. "And they aren't the only two in the relationship."

"I heard. But I think right now, I don't think things are serious between them and Hermione." I added, nuzzling against his chest. "I don't want to play right now."

Sirius nodded, kissing my forehead gently with a small smile. Kissing back softly I nuzzled his side as he held me close. Sipping my cocoa I flicked my want, re-lighting the fire with a smile. After a bit, I let out a small sigh. He wanted to play, I could tell. The way his shoulder twitched, how he was on the edge of the couch. It wasn't sexual either at least, but he had way too much energy for this time of night. 

"God Padfoot, go. Get your ball." I sighed, smiling as he slipped off the couch and directly into dog form. As he dashed off I let out a small chuckle, returning with a tennis ball. Taking it from him I gave it a soft toss down the hall, repeating the action a few times as he placed the ball in my hand. When I finished my cocoa, I placed a hand on his head. He let out a slightly disappointed whimper but didn't argue as he scampered out with the ball one last time. 

When he returned I rolled my eyes. He was still in dog form, hopping up on the couch and laying his head in my lap. With a soft sigh, I gently pet his head with a smile. I didn't mind too much, this made him comfortable and I liked seeing him feeling safe. I just kind of wanted to cuddle properly, but I wasn't going to argue with his comfort. 

"You going to stay like this for the rest of the night?" I teased, gently kissing his head. "I want to cuddle, with you, as a human."

Sirius didn't respond, simply tilting his head somewhat innocently. Deciding to take advantage of this decision, I gently pushed him off my lap and grabbed his brush. His fur was still slightly dishevelled. It wasn't flee ridden anymore, but he still had patches from stress grooming and he was now having a hard time grooming at all. So I had to do it for him, which I didn't mind. I liked brushing him it was calming, he was good as just comforting me the way having a puppy would.

"Good boy. Your fur is growing back nicely, I think you might have your long fur again by the end of next year." I whispered, gently running the brush through his fur. "Wouldn't you like that?"

He didn't respond, laying against my chest. However, his tail was wagging happily as I gently brushed him. After a bit, I put the brush away. Making it back to him I nodded for him to follow, smiling as he did, tail held high. Heading back to the bed, I chuckled ad he curled up at the end of the bed. Crawling under the sheets I slowly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

The morning of Christmas I Smiled as I made my way to the living room, sitting on the couch next to Sirius. Harry took this as a go-ahead to hand out gifts and started handing them out. The first I ended up with was from Sirius, which I had a feeling that I knew what it was. Opening it silently, I smiled as I pulled out a large silver bear with a red tie. It wasn't the one I expected, but I loved it all the same. It reminded me of my old bear Shivers, who had been destroyed slightly by Moony. It wasn't his fault, but it was still heartbreaking to have to toss him. 

Most of my gifts were similar, with a bunch of stuffed animals. Draco had gone a bit overboard -with an almost me sized bear- but I loved it none the less. The main gift that really shocked me was the silver necklace embedded with a beautiful emerald that Draco bought Harry. It was beautiful, and I knew there was a low chance of it actually coming into contact with my skin, but it still caused my heart to stop momentarily. I suppose he caught on as Drace let out a soft chuckle. 

"It's not real silver, it's called German silver. It's a compound of several other things that make it look like it is silver." He said, smiling as I took a deep breath. "I wouldn't risk it."

"Thank you," I responded, smiling as Harry leaning into Draco's chest. Hermione snuggled into them and Harry held her close with a smile. 

"Oh, I have one more gift for you, Harry," I said quickly handing him a thin box. "I think you might know what it is."

"Marauder thing?" Ron asked, tilting his head as Nevil leaned into him. 

"Yeah, definitely a Marauder thing," I responded with a smile.

Harry smiled as he opened the box, pulling out the silvery cloak. The invisibility cloak to be exact. "Thank you."

"Don't worry about it," I whispered, snuggling back against Sirius' chest. "You are going to need it."

Sirius chuckled, gently kissing my cheek as he held me close. His chest was comfortable and I loved him deeply, letting out a soft trull. Sirus chuckled, smirking as he picked me up, carrying me out of the room and to ours. Gently dropping us on our bed Sirius locked the door, quickly setting up silencing charms. Turning back to me, he deeply kissed me, holding me close as he pulled off my shirt and kissed down my neck, stopping at my chest. Softly chuckling he gently licked my chest, gently nipping as he softly ran his hands down my chest. 

Quickly recovering from the shock I wrapped A leg around him and flipped him over. Holding him in place I pulled, I pulled off his clothes quickly I rand a finger down his chest Kissing his deeply as I tossed my bottoms to the side, I ran my nails down his chest. Kissing his kneck I trilled as he playfully whimpered, kissing my kneck gently. Gently scratching again I thrust against him gently, kissing him deeply and passionately. 

After teasing for quite some time, I pushed into Sirius drawing a passionate gasp from him. Thrusting slightly I held him tightly, gripping his shoulders for support. I enjoyed this part, holding my body against his, taking in the sweet smell of our mixing sweat as we fought for control over the action. We didn't always, nut now we were flipping and scratching, just refusing to settle on who was in control, right up to the end. In the wonderful, painfully blissful, end. His teeth were loosely in my shoulder, dog-like, drawing blood. I didn't mind at all, it felt so nice. Sure it hurt, but I loved it. His teeth sinking into my mark, strengthening our bond and just pulling the pleasure to an extream high.

"Fiery." He whispered, gently kissing my kneck, cleaning the wound as he did. "You wanted this didn't you?"

"Kind of," I responded, carrying him back to the back to the bed. "I wanted to have some fun with you."

"Making up for last night a bit?" 

"No. I have nothing to make up for love." Cupping his cheek I gently kissed him once again. "But today isn't last night."

"That's fair." He chuckled letting out a small sigh. "Now can we a shower?"

Nodding I smiled as he quickly pulled on his trousers, and headed out of the room. Rolling my eyes I followed, stepping into the already running shower behind my mate. "You are unbearable." I sighed, kissing him one last time before turning to my shower. Cleaning quickly I towelled off, leaving Sirius with a small smirk. I knew he was probably pouting, but I didn't care. We would snuggle in a bit, and I knew he would be alright.

Drying off I changed into my pyjama's. As I began drying my hair -magically, it never dried naturally- Sirius barged in, glaring. He looked genuinely angered, his eyes flashing with terror. My heart shattered as I slowly realized what I had done. I perpetuated his abuse, let him alone in a pseudo punishment.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, collapsing to the bed. "I'm so sorry."

Sirius didn't respond, turning dog form and taking off. For a moment it felt like I was hit with a ton of bricks, tears burning in my eyes as I broke into sobs.

'Idiot.' The single word kept bouncing around my head, painfully. My chest was heavy and I could hardly breathe. Heading to the corner of my room I grabbed a small hand mirror and smashed it. Taking a piece of it I gently ran it across my wrist. I never pushed, I just gently ran it across my wrist.

"Remus?" My heart froze once again as I heard Harry's voice. "What happened?"

I couldn't respond, simply dropping the mirror shard and balling up into a small ball. Rocking myself into a blissful sleep.


End file.
